a slower pace: thoughts on line-drying laundry

It's no great mystery that our life has been slowing down over the last year. If you're wondering how that can be with three toddlers and one on the way I will tell you: it's all God. It started probably long ago but for this story's sake it started last November when I started to question the importance of the sponsor-driven blogging I was doing, as well as the time I was spending using social media - Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest - even my iPhone was in question. I felt a strong urge (and pleading from my husband) to simplify life and live in a quieter time, more able to hear what God has in store for us. I am sure there are plenty of people who find their life calling through social media and the like, I am just equally certain I'm not one of them. Easily distracted and do-it-now-while-you're-thinking-about-it-before-the-moment-passes is usually more my style. 

For me a slower and quieter life has looked like this: giving up my iPhone in favor of a more old school type that simply calls and texts. It has the ability to take pictures and "browse the Internet" but those features were so clearly unimportant to the cell designers when this particular phone was made that it's really more of a hassle than anything. I just don't bother. It's also meant blogging less, which gives me more time with my family and quality time as a human to enjoy life instead of constantly trying to "capture it". And doing without Facebook, Twitter and Instagram almost completely. I say almost because I have followed a Facebook link on more than one occasion for a company phone number, etc., and I did stalk a friend's recent delivery of her baby on Instagram via the computer, just to scope sweet baby cheeks :) Guilty + guilty.

Another way I've slowed down is by reading more actual books. I've gone through so many since giving up Facebook that I feel like a newly educated woman again. Bob and I have more to talk about than we have in quite some time, and it's deep topics, not just what so-and-so did on his vacation via social media. (Who cares?)

Another 'nother way I've slowed down is the diminished use of the dryer in our home. Actually it'd be more accurately described as the joyful doing of more of the household duties in general, but for this post's intents and purposes... the dryer. I am fairly certain that I owe my renewed vigor for line-drying clothes in part to two recent reads: All You Need is Less by Madeleine Somerville, and Almost Amish by Nancy Sleeth. Both women write, in their own ways, about the simple joys that can come from line-drying clothes, as well as the positive environmental and financial impacts, too.

"All in all, it had taken about only ten minutes longer than hurriedly throwing everything into the dryer and pressing "Start," and I'd been able to get outside and enjoy some sun and fresh air too. I was hooked. Laundry, usually one of my most hated chores, suddenly became enjoyable." -Madeline, All You Need is Less, p.93

Any old line between two posts will work for drying laundry, here are some of my own personal nuggets of wisdom for first-timers:

1. Before you fold and bring in dried laundry, give it a good shake. More times than I prefer (that would be anything over zero, for the record) I've found a critter in a line-dried garment either before or, the less desirable, after I've brought it inside. Also on that note: you might want to clear cobwebs from the lines before you hang clothes, too. Just a suggestion from a spider-a-phobe whose "been there."

2. Double up on safety pins to save. Here's my tried-and-true method: let's pretend we're hanging a basket of washcloths. I would clip one side of one washcloth, and clip up the other side with a second pin. When I bring up the second washcloth to pin I would overlap the last place I clipped. Make sense? (See photos for examples) That way you're saving space + pins (and therefore money, too!).

3. Take note of the weather. Especially windy days are good for drying loads quickly (got somewhere to be? not sure the rain will hold off?) and extra sunshiny days are great for "bleaching" whiter items. If this is your desire consider adding a 1/8 cup of lemon juice to the wash, too - aids in the all natural "bleaching" of whites.

4. The benefits far outweigh the drawbacks. Most often when I'm hanging clothes my kids are outside playing; benefit number one: they get to see me work, benefit number two: I get to be near them while they play. Also, if they're not around me I can use the quiet moment with beautiful bright colored clothes, fresh air + sunshine to clear my head, or even say a quick prayer. I remember reading about a man who loved to do the dishes because it was his time in prayer with the Lord, that always stuck with me as a great reason to love chores. And finally, the sense of doing something worthwhile with my time - caring for my family, extending the life of our clothes by treating them with care, saving our Earthly and financial resources - is worth the few extra minutes it takes to hang.

So there you have it, my thoughts on line-drying clothes. Have you ever "gone there" with your garments? What was your experience? If you haven't - what's holding you back? I'd love to hear from all sides! Leave your comments below and be sure to check back, I'm a firm believer in every comment deserving a response :) 

SIMPLE // WHY I LOVE MY JOBS

As I'm sitting in the yard, laptop on my... lap and conversing with my husband about the possibility of parachuting off a building into a waiting convertible lambroghini filled with jello (um - what?!) I can't help but think of how very fortunate I am to have the life I do.

 

For one thing Bob works enough outside the home that I don't have to, and haven't, since 2011. Part of that is due to our aligned desires to A) raise our kids without the need for daycare, and B) similarly, need less and make do with what we already have. A favorite quote of both ours lately has been this:

  Use it Up Wear it Out Make it Do or Do Without  

Why not wear your jeans until they're rags, and then recycle them to the rag pile, or donate them to the bird-nesting materials bag, or use them to repair other jeans (in Bob's case). There are innumerable opportunities all around to reuse and recycle or upcycle what we already have, and cut down on our need for more money, ultimately requiring less time away from home.

 

Another aspect of life I'm smitten with is the ability to work from home like I do. Yes, tecnically I have two "from home" jobs: first and most importantly as a mother, and secondly as a blogger. The reviews, giveaways and sponsored content I bring to this site are A) the beginning of amazing partnerships with companies I can stand behind (think self-made, small business, good for your soul, life-enhancing, etc.) and B) in exchange for goods - which we typically wear, consume or use up - or money which can be used in the same way.

 

When I started this Blog it was a way to stay in communication with family and friends far away, to share how our lives were being rocked by the addition of our twins. Since it's beginning in 2011 Hands and Hearts More Than Full has grown tremendously and through this venture I've met all sorts of amazing people along the way. Yet another reason I am so blessed in this life - the amount of love and support surrounding me, my Blog, my family is mind-blowing. If it weren't for the loyal readership, willing companies and help and hints along the way I never would be where I am today.

I love supporting my fellow bloggers, which is why you often see me "linking up" to their features and posts. Blogging may seem easy but it's really a lot of work. If nothing else I could look back over life during this Blog and see a very comprehensive "baby book" of sorts, documeting how our family grew and evolved over time. But for me this is so much more. Thank you for being my amazing audience, and growing with me through this life!

SIMPLE // BIRTHDAY WISH LIST

My Birthday is in two days! Actually, it's a busy Birthday month for my family all around. I certainly don't NEED anything. Not. one. thing. I am so so very fortunate in that way. I don't expect any gifts, either, but it is really fun to wish, and to make a colorful (ps - do you know how much I LOVE color?) wishlist too!  Also, I keep a Current Wish List on Pinterest, if you're interested. Here are my current colorful loves:

 

ONE: Kitchenaid professional stand mixer in the most sour looking apple green around
TWO: Washi tape in all of its colorful, fun + cute glory
THREE: This photo is of a Nikon, but I'd love to learn to use any DSLR camera

Not pictured: garden boots!! I especially love these from Bogs

Whats on your wish list this year? It's so fun to dream :) 

SIMPLE // COMPOST

"Simplicity, carried to an extreme, becomes elegance."
- Jon Franklin

Those are pictures of our homemade pallet compost bins. Bob built them last year from side-of-the-road pallets we hauled home in our enormous car trunk. Of course in the Spring, Summer + Fall their much more accessible BUT this Winter they certainly weren't obsolete. In fact the lack of snow in the first bin proves that everything is working as it should, procuding heat and composting below the cold.

 

The first bin will get turned into the second bin, and so on to the third, when enough plant + leaf matter has built up as well. For now we're just using the first bin for table scraps. It doesn't look beautiful to the naked eye but if you stare for a moment the only things you'll see are beautiful meals once prepared. Ain't nothin' ugly 'bout that!

 

Sometimes (often!) it's the simple things in life.

 

SIMPLE // BREAKING UP WITH FACEBOOK

A few months ago - December of 2013, to be exact! - I broke up with Facebook. Yep, I quit that bad boy cold turkey and have not yet looked back. At first it was weird - I felt a bit like a part of me was missing, how gross! - but in a very short while (if I remember correctly it was only a matter of days) I wasn't missing it at all. For the record I also quit Twitter at that time, too. I do still use Instagram (for now) and am a self-proclaimed Pinterest Queen.

What made me decide?
For me the decision was at first very difficult. The biggest problem I had with Facebook was having my entire past at my fingertips. Old flames, toxic relationships, what-have-you. Also, I was certainly addicted, which I am sure is their aim for every subscriber, spending upwards of four or five hours perusing other peoples lives DAILY, instead of living mine. Not to mention I was ignoring some very important parts of my life: keeping a clean home, spending quality time with my husband, being present and mindful with my kids.  What a stagnant, depressed, sorry version of me.

Why was it right for me?
After using my powers of social media for evil rather than good more times than I'd care to admit, I came to the realization that something radical had to be done. I thought long and hard about what is most important in life, and what I will hope I had more of when my time on this planet runs out. I certainly won't be begging to know Suzy Noname's birth-date, or what Rob Whozit has been doing since elementary school. I will most assuredly be wishing for more quality time with the people I love. Breaking up with Facebook was just the first step in making time for what is truly important and getting back to a me that I recognize and love.

Read a post I wrote shortly after breaking up with Facebook here.

What do I miss?
I will be honest, there are a few things that I do miss about Facebook, but be ready because they're truly superficial. I miss being "tagged" in photos from my friends. I think I miss that because as a SAHM of three toddlers it was a reminder that I did, occasionally, let loose with the ladies. I have a gigantic newsflash for everyone, however: Even if no one ever knows about it, it STILL HAPPENED! This thought runs through my mind all. the. time. We got chickens last week and I wanted the whole world to know. Why? I felt like a badass homestead-starter with her priorities in tact. But here's the truth: I AM a badass homestead-starter even if no one else ever knows it. It doesn't have to be Facebooked, I don't need anyone else's praise or recognition. That sort of freedom is so... FREEING! Every delicious and healthy meal I eat isn't getting shared with the world. I don't need to "brag" to anyone or hear how "amazing" I'm doing at being healthy, or worse yet, have someone else's negative energy coming at me because they don't think I can.

How has life changed?
I am a more productive, free, and happy version of me. I don't use Facebook personally and I don't use it for my Blog. I think that even my memory is starting to improve. In fact, the more social media/constant feeds of news + gossip I eliminate, the easier it becomes for me to concentrate. I recently had to turn down an opportunity from a dear friend to participate in what she's calling a Mommy Collective. It seemed life-enriching but was mostly based in Facebook. It was hard at that moment to stand my ground. I'm also having more meaningful in-person conversations with family and friends, since I'm not reading about their every move on social media sites. Facebook was a slippery slope for me, which brings me to my next point...

Will I ever go back?
At this time the answer is no. There may come a time when I am more able to manage such a large and often intimidating social power more efficiently, but that time is nowhere near, nor is it on the horizon for me. For now I am pouring myself into my family, friends, and things that make me happy: our new baby chicks and growing "homestead", great big gardening dreams, and on and on and on. There's a lot of life to be had, if you just keep your head up and out of the clouds screen!

If you're considering quitting start with a simple Google search for inspiration! I read things like this diary, this article, and this article before I made the plunge. And, as always, feel free to ask me any Q's you might have - I'm happy to share more of what my experience has been, especially if it wasn't covered well enough up there ^

What do you think? Could you do it? What would be most challenging for you? Leave your comments below, I'm off to enjoy the fam :) xo

*Stay tuned for volume 2, coming soon: Breaking up with an iPhone!

SIMPLE // NOTES ON GARDENING

 

"I want it all, the whole far-flung earth and everything in it. I want streams and hills, rivers and seas, mountains and pastures. I want a whole, happy earth. And when I'm not being overly ambitious about my environmental desires, I also want a garden with a little bit of everything in it. These two desires are not unconnected: my happy earth will, in part (and no small part), be achieved by my ability to grow a large percentage of my food in my garden, in a way that does not devour resources."

 

These are poetic words from Alys Fowler's new book The Edible Garden, How to Have your Garden and Eat it, too. - aka our gardening guidebook - as we embark on what will (hopefully) be our most successful garden-growing year yet. I say that with a smirk because our philosophy for the garden last year was "if it doesn't grow there it doesn't go there" and we were adamant about not "wasting" water on the garden and simply letting nature do her thing.  Well, that's precisely what she did and her thing was crusty, and dry, and bug-laden sooooo this year we have renewed our spirit when it comes to creating in our own back (but mostly front!) yard.

 

There are neat tips + tricks we've learned just from skimming the pages of this book. It's written like a love note to her (Alys') existing/developing garden. The care she takes in nurturing it and giving it every fighting chance to survive and thrive is akin to that of a mother and child. Her love for the art of gardening has started a botanic fire in me.

 

What I've learned so far (in a nutshell):

1. Growing a garden in neat lines and rows is a Victorian-era throwback. I figured it's just what gardener's do but but as Alys describes it planting in drifts can be much more functional and beautiful.

"It's this rule-breaking style that's won my heart. I have set out on a journey to make an art out of supplying my kitchen. I can only guarantee one thing: there will be no straight lines."
 

2. Gardening isn't just a horizontal venture. Thinking outside the box is only occasionally my strong suite. My eyes are like a child on Christmas morning when thinking about the possibilities of building growth upward and outward with tools like: string, old branches, ladders, thrifted pallets (make sure they're not chemically-treated!) etc. What's more: those upward growing beauties create a space of shade underneath that is a unique environment for a whole other slew of growth!

3. Newcomers aren't limited to what's available at the store. There are certainly a great variety of plants available at any local plant market, but those seeds often come full of limitations. They may have been chemically-treated, unethically raised, damaged, or even labeled F1. The latter, as my husband recently shared, are seeds that grow one season but cannot be grown again from the seeds they then produce. More about that here. Heirloom seeds are a good way to go, too, if you want to save your own seeds and replant them year-after-year. Alys speaks to responsible foraging for plants which has my attention. We tried a bit of family foraging last year with great success, but never for plant parts before. I'm always down for a brand new adventure!

 

photos summer 2012, Dayr

What unique gardening tips are you implementing this year? I'd love to hear from my readers any other yard tricks we can incorporate. Spread the love and the knowledge! 

Get 10% off led grow when you shop at www.AccessHydro.com. Valid until March 2014.  

SIMPLE // ON MY MIND

A cleansing of sorts has been happening around me lately, mostly by my own doing. Old junk finds its way to the rubbish bins (nope, not English - just like typing the word rubbish), craft corners are becoming more orderly, and things that don't ultimately make me + Bob happy are working their way into what I'm very hopefully referring to as the Memorial Day Weekend Yard Sale Pile!

 

We have talked for years about living minimally, even getting our hopes up when we scaled back by about 95% to move across country with nothing more than what fit in our minivan, but since then we've ebbed and flowed over the concept so many times that we're starting all over again.

 

Having twins brings a chaos to one's life that is simply unavoidable. Where there would be one wardrobe there are now two - only not separate and tidy but instead entangled and typically piled high in any empty corner. And replace the word wardrobe with anything child-related: high chair, crib, toddler bed, mess from lunch, etc. You see what I'm saying? Then we added an additional toddler to the mix and things got exponentially messy. I could keep up with twins - two arms, boobs, hands, what-have-you - but three is a different story. I don't know how mom's blessed with more than two are doing it, I really don't. I guess the simple answer is you just do.

 

Anyway, all of that is a very long-winded way of saying that I am in desperate need of some order and beauty in my world. That does not, to clarify, translate into more "stuff" in general but rather a selection of things that bring only joy when they're held, looked at, used, etc.

I could really use some help as I go back and forth on this concept constantly. What have you done lately to organize your life? What steps do you suggest for living minimally and/or scaling back? Thank you in advance, friends.          [Washi tape here.] 

SIMPLE // WISHES FOR A NEW YEAR

Dune Grass Festival, Circa 2008 - A celebration of earth + life

 

All things sparkly and new, that's what I think of when I hear Happy New Year! From champagne to noise-makers, diet plans to weather patterns to tax returns and beyond, there isn't much that a new year leaves untouched. Oh, were you thinking that my "New Year" post is a little late? Then you must have forgot that this is my Blog and I get to write whatever I want. Wink. I have a few hopes of my own for the New Year. Personal wishes, family desires, growth to be seen on an individual and group front.

SIMPLE // BREAK TIME

It is time for me to take a break from Blogging. Due to much personal growth and adjustment my Blog as a product testing ground and advertising space is no longer fitting my needs as a human. Thankfully Bob and I strive to require very little in terms of monetary needs, and therefore are able to survive on very little, too. I won't be abandoning ship just yet - I do still have a few more loose ends to tie up, products that need reviewing, and commitments to honor - but beginning in 2014 I will only be Blogging for me. What a relief. Along those same lines I've also detached myself from the grasp of Facebook and Twitter. How wonderful they both were when I was trying to prove that I was living my life, and happily. New goal? Actually do the living, don't worry about the "proving", and enjoy more of the things that matter most: family, friends, being true to me... you know.

SIMPLE // THE CASE FOR CHRISTMAS

 

Santa Claus is real.

 

Yes, legend says he is a jolly man who comes down chimneys and some of us convey this message to our children. In fact I think my husband and I will even go along with it, at least until our kids (ages 2, 2, and 1) are old enough to ask about him and understand why we might justify lying. But Santa Claus is more than the center of centuries of stories. He's the embodiment of a spirit of lighthearted joy, carefree giving, and peace + equality for all people.

 

I have always LOVED Christmastime. I won't judge you if you start counting down in July, December 26th I remind myself that there are 364 other days to preserve those special Christmas feelings. And that's exactly what I try to do. I often forget, but try so hard to remember, that there are opportunities to improve someones life every. single. day. Not just at Christmas time. In fact there might be a greater need for the 11 other months of the year, when Christmas isn't on everyones brain.

 

Each year we try to portray a Santa Claus-like spirit. We try to be giving, gracious, and remember the reasons for the Holidays. Spoiler: It's not all about the presents. Actually, it's about the presence. For Taylen and Dayr's first Christmas we gave them each a ball. Taylen got an orange one, and Dayr a green. We didn't choose to do that because we were broke even though we were but because we wanted to see their eyes light up when they received a gift, and help teach them true appreciation. Something brand new and special to them. We attended Christmases at family's homes throughout the season and every time our kids were so overwhelmed with toys and "things" that the sparkle was not in their eye. Yes, of course they were excited to receive piles of gifts, but did they appreciate them as much as the givers had hoped? The answer, unfortunately, is no.

 

This year my husband and I are "making a case for Christmas." We've talked about it off-and-on for most of the year birthdays, too, get overwhelming around here -what with two in February, mine in March, and two in April that's a really busy/gifty time. We are constantly and I do mean constantly, like, at least 3x/week doing the "serious conversation" thing overwhelmed with the amount of "stuff" we are able to accumulate. Moving from Nevada to Michigan we were broke, jobless, and left most of our stuff, which made us the prime contact for anyone wanting to get rid of stuff. On top of that we had new baby twin boys and a baby girl on-the-way - talk about the gifting gods raining down! We were so blessed and so fortunate to have all of our needs met AND more that we often claimed that we "suffer from abundance."

 

So what is this Case for Christmas I mentioned? Well, it looks a lot like this:

 

First off we're interested in a model if you will that Bob heard about on the radio but I can't find on the Internet? called the 5 Hands Christmas. It suggests giving one of these five "hands" as gifts:

1. hand-made made, or purchased, by/from someone crafty
2. hand-me-down a loved, but still usable/useful, gift
3. hand-outs give a few bucks to cover a bill, etc
4. hand-in-hand quality time spent together
5. second hand gifting from a thrift store

What a refreshing idea. Now those cheesy coupons "This coupon good for one back rub, etc" make total sense! I knew there was a reason I loved those all along. But in all seriousness, why are we not already doing this? Not only does it take the pressure off of Holiday shopping yes, I already pledged not to shop on Thanksgiving or Black Friday - I never have before, why start now? but it also allows us all to give freely and stay within our budget, give gifts with meaning and thought, think deeply about the person doing the receiving, keep dollars local, not endorse child-labor, sweat shops, overseas factories and whatever other sneaky methods are being used to produce low quality, chemical-laden cheap plastic Wally-World toys that for so long have been the norm. My husband shared a photo the other day on Facebook that said this:

"Nothing says I love you like cheap crap made in China by slave labor, sold by a company owned by billionaires benefiting from corporate welfare, paying slave wages to employees kept from enjoying Thanksgiving with their families." I'm not claiming this statement as truth, but it does elicit a loud, smiling "Hallelujah!" from my lips."
 

I dare each and every one of you to try this. What have you got to lose? Certainly there is much to gain where matters of the heart are concerned. For my family, I hope you read this and understand our hearts. This is not meant as a criticism but rather a challenge to see the real reasons to celebrate a Holiday, such as Christmas, in the first place. Wondering what to give? Make a donation in someones name to a local/international/meaningful charity. Good in the kitchen? How about a few batches of your famous fudge, or a healthier granola/salsa/salad dressing recipe packaged up nice. If you know how to sew try dress-up clothes or a tee pee for kids, a hat/scarf/gloves for adults. Short on cash until after the Holidays? Why not give a coupon for a lunch/coffee/dinner date? I know Bob and I would love to be gifted a night out together, a rare delight for us, and finding childcare for three tots can get pricey! For our kids I'm secretly not so secretly hoping that my old keyboard stashed in my mom's basement might make an appearance this Christmas, or my ultra-handy dad might craft them a wooden gem, or even take them off our hands for a few! The possibilities really are endless if you put your mind to it.

It might not be easy, but if we're all on the same team it sure will be fun! Luckily for me I have an amazingly talented family to tap into. Nothing would make me happier than "hiring" my sister-in-law to crochet beautiful items for people I love. My money would be doubly well spent, my heart full, and beautiful gifts of love given 'round. I can't hardly think of a better Christmas gift. Let's give it a try and see how real this Santa really can be! 

    ps - Check out our sidebar sponsors for some amazing homemade gifts!

SIMPLE // STAY POSITIVE

This post is all about why it's okay to "let your blog go", to not use your Bachelor's degree, and to live a little bit off the grid, or not how people expect you to, or not the way someone may have intended for you to live. At least for a while.

For example. If I were using my Bachelor's degree that means I would not be a full-time stay-at-home mom. If I was not a full-time stay-at-home mom that means I would not have the time that I have to devote to regain my health, take back my body, care for my children, and ultimately pursue things that are important to me, important for my life and my well-being, as well as important for my children's + family's future.

 

If I were living "on the grid" or completely connected in some technological way then what ways would I be disconnected from myself and my family? Some people are excellent multitaskers, and at times I can be, too. This is not one of those times. I find the more I disengage with Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, texting, and whatever other social suckholes exist, the better my relationship becomes with my husband + kids. Go figure, right?But blogging makes me happy, so I try to find a nice balance, and that's not always an easy feat.

I don't know that I'll be in that position forever. Hopefully I will create wonderful health, exercise, and mental wellness habits for myself. I probably will not always have the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom. One can dream, right? Someday I will stop feeding hungry mouths at the table. And someday those hungry mouths will hopefully be successful people all in their own. So when that time comes I hope that I can look back and be proud of the way I'm spending my time now.  

This time, right now, is a gift. I hope for Taylen, Dayr, Ayara, Bob, and my own sake that I'm always able to view it that way.

 

SIMPLE // MEET DENA

I've had the pleasure over the past few weeks of getting to know Dena, who writes the Blog Live. Love. Simple. I fell in love with her Blog title first, if I'm being honest, but my admiration for Dena + her wise ways soon grew. Take a peek at her deep and intelligent writing, and adorable fam dam... you'll soon be star-struck, too. I'm so glad to have found her! I asked her to share with me how she manages to keep her life simple. Because, duh, that's something I struggle with daily! This is what she said:

HOW TO KEEP LIFE SIMPLE AS A MAMA (AKA How to Accomplish the Impossible)

 

Four years ago, I embarked on a journey toward minimalism. I got rid of a lot. You can read all about that here, but today I want to write about minimalism -- or simple living -- and motherhood.

 

It may seem like the two things are impossible to put together, but it can be done... sometimes! We live in a small house and don't have many possessions as compared with the average American family. We've always felt that stuff not only clutters your space, but it also clutters your soul. Plus, if I'm being honest, it's hard enough for me to keep our little house and our little stuff clean as it is. Because simplicity is such an integral part of our lives/happiness/sanity, we talked a lot about simplicity + parenthood before we decided to start a family.

 

I am a big fan of conscious living. I think it's important to evaluate my life and decisions often. One way that I do this is to write down my values once in awhile and reflect on how I am doing in terms of living them. Every time I write down my values, simplicity ends up in my top five. My values usually look something like this: 1. Family / 2. Creativity / 3. Simplicity / 4. Health / 5. Kindness. I have found that the easiest way to keep life simple is to constantly evaluate my decisions (purchases, actions, and so on) against my values. Before I bring anything into our home I ask myself: Does this align with my values? This holds true for things, people, and even ideas. I constantly ask myself: Is this serving me (and my family) well? If the answer is no, I just get rid of it.

 

I have ended "friendships;" quit jobs, and purged many possessions through this method. It's simple but it's also incredibly effective. Motherhood definitely adds a challenging element to the mix. I thought that my husband was going to keel over after my baby shower when I arrived home with a Ford F150 truck bed full of baby stuff. Literally. He said, I don't understand. It's just one, little baby. He was genuinely confused.

 

The fact is that, yes, babies and children need a lot of stuff. But really they don't need as much as the big baby/kid stores would have you believe. We received more little clothing and blankets than we could have used if we'd had triplets. A lot of the stuff ended up going back to the store and got exchanged for other practical necessities like baby food and diapers. It may be tempting to have fifty different adorable onesies, but it's not necessary. Excessive-ness like that will only cause you more headaches and more laundry.

 

Roman is just five-months-old but we plan to maintain our family value of simplicity throughout his life and to, hopefully, pass it along to him. I am happier and healthier since I've started living simply. It doesn't always work. I would be lying if I didn't admit that Roman has three adorable pairs of shoes and he can't even crawl yet, let alone walk. But, at the end of the day, it's all about balance. Like I always say, "Give a little. Take a little. Donate A LOT.

 

 

Thanks for reading. You can check out more about my little family over at my blog, Live, Love, Simple and you can connect with us at Live, Love, Simple on Facebook, too. xo    -Dena

 

Let's keep the positivity + simplicity going! How do you keep life from getting out-of-hand?

Is it a priority for you? What have you found that works and what have you found that doesn't? Please comment below.

 

and as always, please: 

SIMPLE // PALEO LIFESTYLE

 

Berry-covered foraging faces. Dayr, Ayara, Daddy + Taylen

  

Jump in head first. That's what we always do.

This time it's a Paleo lifestyle. 

Nothing like going from no meat (vegan)

To meat-coming-out-the-arse, eh?

I know one thing is for sure, I am getting down OFF my soapbox.

From now on I know only one thing: I know nothing.

We keep trying and that's what counts!

The twins and Ayara are loving it. Their fave? Cold hot dogs.

You hear the irony in that, right?

Don't worry, they're organic, and made from grass fed beef.

We haven't completely flown off the rockers... yet. 

Other Paleo lifestyle endeavors this week include:

Foraging for wild black walnuts and grapes,

and preserving and canning local tomatoes for winter

that one's a stretch but still applicable.

What a blast it's been! 

My heart, and Bob's too, have been overjoyed sharing such simple,

natural adventures with our family.

What sort of adventures have you taken lately?

I'd love to hear about them.

Amazing ideas always welcome, hint hint!


While you're here could you please give us two clicks?

SIMPLE // A REVELATION

    "Maybe we do need to live outside." -Bob "Will you be a Gypsy with me?" -Bob "I'm going crazy inside that house." -Bob (Speaking of home, here's a peek inside our first home, in Nevada 2010)   Gahl dernit, my husband prompts my revelation AGAIN!   We are total nature-y, outdoors-y people. We can't sit still (unless it's on a beach), we can't breathe deep, and we certainly can't function unless our basic human nature-y need is met. Simple as that. (See a sweet pic of Bob's moustache in nature here.)   Inside our home we're ravenous, angry beasts, all five of us. The kind that go streaking down the driveway for a whiny child's toy, but that story is for another day. Unleash us in nature and we're cool, calm and collected.   So yesterday day we found ourselves on an "adbenture" yet again. Dayr and Taylen's version of the word   I don't know if it's the three babies factor, the chaotic full-of-stuff-we-don't-need house factor, the trying-to-eat-clean-drives-us-nuts-and-starves-us thing, or what. BUT I do know that we love the outdoors. On this specific adventure we happened upon some random boats upon a public beach - score! The tots collected "shells" (zebra mussels here in the Great Lakes), and row, row, rowed to their hearts content. They also ate more wild grapes (this is becoming our new thing), destroyed toad stools, and waved at a giant plastic bear "hi, bear!" - so cute!   This revelation begs the question:   Is this a human thing? OR is this a too-many-people-behind-small-closed-walls thing?   What do you think? Does your family behave the same way? If you're looking for more peace I humbly suggest getting outside. In a way I believe it's back to the way things used to be OR, as the new church we just tried said, which, by the way, we all really enjoyed, with the exception of Ra Ra, who pooped her pants :(  it might be The New Normal!   please:   Thank you!

SIMPLE // ONE-ON-ONE TIME

Having three kids I am sure is difficult, but it cannot be anything like the Irish triplets we've been blessed with.

 

Not sure what Irish triplets are? Look it up on UrbanDictionary.com.

I've been saying it all along not knowing it was initially derogatory,

you learn something new every day! pfft

 

Anyway, the tots and my shaky mental state have me thinking about the dynamics of being a "triplet" - if you will - or, so I don't offend anyone who actually has triplets,  twins + a singleton born in short succession. My husband and I are mindful of the fact that one of the first questions therapists ask when you start seeing them concerns birth order. "Where do you fall in the birth order of your family blah bleu". It never struck me before - as the oldest of, wait for it... TWO - but my husband - the oldest of eight - sees it differently. Consider a first-born singleton, for example, often times they get the undivided attention of at least one, if not both, of their parents. Not to mention grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, etc. etc. Now consider twins. From the start they get divided attention from everyone they encounter: doctors, midwives, mom, dad, passerbys. The list goes on and on. Our twins were "fortunate" and received about nine days of individual attention in different ways, but that's old news + you can read all about that here. Then, just a short 14 months later, we went and threw a third baby into the attention-grabbing mix. WHAT!? That's love and affection, snuggles, breastfeeding, baby-wearing, sit-in-your-lap-and-read-a-story time divided by THREE. If those three children are lucky they're receiving 33% of the goodies that other singletons receive. Yeah, tell me about it... mind = blown.

 

All of that is a very long-winded and detail rich way of saying that tonight, after a long indoor play session and delicious dinner of PB & J during the Target cart ride back to the car, two very loved and very exhausted twin boys fell asleep. Baby girl then reaped the benefits which included an all-to-herself bath (never happens) with an apple (also, never.) followed by a lotiony massage on mom's bed (you know the drill). And all of THAT is my way of saying that I did not mind one. single. bit. Because of the unique dynamic we've created in our home, one-on-one time is like gold. Let's just say I was King Midas tonight.

 

SIMPLE // EAT BERRIES

Sometimes you spend a few days tending a tot who is projectile vomiting.

Sometimes you take your family to breakfast only to wait over an hour for a table,

which is the perfect amount of time for said sick twin to shat up his back

and necessitate eating in nothing but a diaper.

 

But you luck out because you sat right next to your husband's co-worker

whose wife just happens to own a children's clothing store!

 

Sometimes you try to watch a Detroit Lions football game (because... duh!)

with a hugh jass antennae and only get frustrated because the rain interferes.

 

But sometimes you escape it all by piling your twins + one into your boat of a car

and driving to a big open field. and eating berries... off the bushes.



   

PHOTO ALBUM // BAD MOM

Why? because...

 

1. I don't always require my son to be buckled in the stroller.

 

 

2. I take lots of pictures, even if we're not all smiling.

 

3. I find it amusing to watch my son drink from (non-alcoholic) beer bottles - labeled Indian, from Puerto Rico.

 

 

4. I often don't require my kids to get "dressed" for the day.

5. I spell out fun messages on playground equipment instead of watching my child's every move.

 

6. I don't always require my daughter to wear a coat in the winter.

 

7. My kids often go out in mismatched clothing.

 

 

8. They skateboard and they're only two-years-old.

9. I don't always wipe their noses.

 

10. I wear the Moby but don't make her use it.

 

 

11. I let their pants get wet on the snowy slide

 

 

12. I photograph leaves instead of hovering over my toddlers while they play.

But on the other hand I:
1. Make outdoor time accessible at all costs. No Excuses.
2. Document our family fun for my already-shady memory,and growing kids who will someday be curious.
3. Foster a sense of World Exploration.
4. Foster a sense of Self Exploration.
5. Allow for "unsupervised" imaginative play.
6. Cultivate thick skinned children, in every way.
7. Allow them to express creativity through clothing choice or lack thereof.
8. Encourage their natural interests.
9. Facilitate a sense of desire for personal care.
10. Condone breaking boundaries.
11. Introduce opportunities for decisions.
12. See number five above.

There are two sides to every story. What did you see in mine? Have you ever had similar feelings - as a parent or elsewhere in life?


While you're here could you Vote for us on Top Baby Blogs? Pretty please? My doc. says it's good for karma!

SIMPLE // STAYING MARRIED WITH TWINS

photo courtesy of my amazing step-son, Soleil

Ask my husband or myself and we'll both tell you instantly and honestly that staying married while juggling three babies is no easy feat.

When we first got together we had a plan:

1. Crista finish school - check.
2. Enjoy one another for a few years then have kids - no check. And that was my idea!

When I was nearly finished with my Bachelor's degree I got baby fever of nearly 200 degrees (that's hot!) and Bob had to convince me to wrap up my education first. If it had been up to me we would have started making babes that DAY! Thankfully he and I can usually be described as (him) logical and (me) emotional.

So upon revision our plan looked like this:

1. Crista finish school - check.
2. Start having babies - doule check. Get it? Twins... double. Ha!

That plan was easy to follow since I finished school in May, and we found out we were expecting July 4th! Our plan was done, so we created a new one:

1. Have babies at home - half check.
2. Pay cash for the twins' birth, avoid doctors and Hospitals - less of a check.
3. Bob work minimally and Crista stay home with the babes - nope. no check.

Do you see a pattern here?

It seems that whatever we "plan" to do somehow doesn't happen. That makes life hard. When life gets hard it creates stress; not only for the individual, but for everyone around them as well. Parents can use all the help they can get.

Here is my advice on nurturing a marriage and staying together, through the difficult trial that is raising twins (and more):



1. Be Honest
This is number one because it is of the utmost importance. There was a time (okay two) when I had to come clean to my husband, and it almost broke us. Rebounding back from dishonesty twice has been very challenging for us. Why am I broadcasting it to the world? Because I think (and my husband agrees) that it can be helpful to know you're not alone through the toughest mental battles. And in the spirit of being honest, you should know that it's easy to portray life one way with words and photos but we are certainly real, too.
2. TALK
Hmm. Seems easy enough? Yes, it is, when you're in the mood for it. But what if your spouse wants to talk and you don't? Tough. Letting someone know that their feelings are being heard and validated can work miracles for a relationship. Personally I know that when I hear my husband say "you know, maybe you're right, I'll think about that" I instantly feel my tension start to melt away and the wall that I built up starts to come down.

3. Make Time For Intimacy
This is something I struggle with almost daily. Between wiping three butts, breastfeeding, unreliable sleep, new scars and stretch marks and aching mommy joints I just. don't. want to. I've had to be told more than once that even though I may not have the same desires I once did, my husband may (and most likely does) still have his. There are certainly many ways to be intimate so be creative and enjoy each other as best you can. You'll likely find, with time, that some of your same old loving feelings come flooding back and in return intimacy requires less effort.


4. Date Again
No matter the relationship age, amount of kids, demands of mom and dad, it's important to remember to date each other. Keep some of the desire and mystery that once attracted you so strongly. My husband once suggested I think back to when we were dating and trying to "impress" one another for inspiration. It works! If I imagine that I want to win my husband's affection I find it easier to put a little style in my hair, color on my cheeks, and care in my wardrobe which in return sparks our affection once again.

These things have made a difference for us; I hope you find them inspiring, too.