A few months ago - December of 2013, to be exact! - I broke up with Facebook. Yep, I quit that bad boy cold turkey and have not yet looked back. At first it was weird - I felt a bit like a part of me was missing, how gross! - but in a very short while (if I remember correctly it was only a matter of days) I wasn't missing it at all. For the record I also quit Twitter at that time, too. I do still use Instagram (for now) and am a self-proclaimed Pinterest Queen.
What made me decide?
For me the decision was at first very difficult. The biggest problem I had with Facebook was having my entire past at my fingertips. Old flames, toxic relationships, what-have-you. Also, I was certainly addicted, which I am sure is their aim for every subscriber, spending upwards of four or five hours perusing other peoples lives DAILY, instead of living mine. Not to mention I was ignoring some very important parts of my life: keeping a clean home, spending quality time with my husband, being present and mindful with my kids. What a stagnant, depressed, sorry version of me.
Why was it right for me?
After using my powers of social media for evil rather than good more times than I'd care to admit, I came to the realization that something radical had to be done. I thought long and hard about what is most important in life, and what I will hope I had more of when my time on this planet runs out. I certainly won't be begging to know Suzy Noname's birth-date, or what Rob Whozit has been doing since elementary school. I will most assuredly be wishing for more quality time with the people I love. Breaking up with Facebook was just the first step in making time for what is truly important and getting back to a me that I recognize and love.
What do I miss?
I will be honest, there are a few things that I do miss about Facebook, but be ready because they're truly superficial. I miss being "tagged" in photos from my friends. I think I miss that because as a SAHM of three toddlers it was a reminder that I did, occasionally, let loose with the ladies. I have a gigantic newsflash for everyone, however: Even if no one ever knows about it, it STILL HAPPENED! This thought runs through my mind all. the. time. We got chickens last week and I wanted the whole world to know. Why? I felt like a badass homestead-starter with her priorities in tact. But here's the truth: I AM a badass homestead-starter even if no one else ever knows it. It doesn't have to be Facebooked, I don't need anyone else's praise or recognition. That sort of freedom is so... FREEING! Every delicious and healthy meal I eat isn't getting shared with the world. I don't need to "brag" to anyone or hear how "amazing" I'm doing at being healthy, or worse yet, have someone else's negative energy coming at me because they don't think I can.
How has life changed?
I am a more productive, free, and happy version of me. I don't use Facebook personally and I don't use it for my Blog. I think that even my memory is starting to improve. In fact, the more social media/constant feeds of news + gossip I eliminate, the easier it becomes for me to concentrate. I recently had to turn down an opportunity from a dear friend to participate in what she's calling a Mommy Collective. It seemed life-enriching but was mostly based in Facebook. It was hard at that moment to stand my ground. I'm also having more meaningful in-person conversations with family and friends, since I'm not reading about their every move on social media sites. Facebook was a slippery slope for me, which brings me to my next point...
Will I ever go back?
At this time the answer is no. There may come a time when I am more able to manage such a large and often intimidating social power more efficiently, but that time is nowhere near, nor is it on the horizon for me. For now I am pouring myself into my family, friends, and things that make me happy: our new baby chicks and growing "homestead", great big gardening dreams, and on and on and on. There's a lot of life to be had, if you just keep your head up and out of the
If you're considering quitting start with a simple Google search for inspiration! I read things like this diary, this article, and this article before I made the plunge. And, as always, feel free to ask me any Q's you might have - I'm happy to share more of what my experience has been, especially if it wasn't covered well enough up there ^
What do you think? Could you do it? What would be most challenging for you? Leave your comments below, I'm off to enjoy the fam :) xo
*Stay tuned for volume 2, coming soon: Breaking up with an iPhone!
so proud of you, lady. you are such an inspiration for letting go of the things that do not serve you well! xo
ReplyDeleteThank you, Dena! You, too, are an inspiration and someone I look to when I need help keeping things simple. Read about Dena over at www.livelovesimple.com, friends!
DeleteWay to go Crista! So glad that is working for you! I think we all have to examine our priorities and see what's really important! Love hearing how healthy you sound!!! Great article! Now I have to decide.... do I share this on facebook? :-) Lol Have a great day!
ReplyDeleteSharon, go for it!! ;) Thanks for the love, glad you found this article!! Xo
ReplyDeleteVery inspiring! Happiness is 110% more important than social media and it sounds like you've found what makes you happy! Woohoo!! Thank you for sharing your story :)
ReplyDeleteAndrew, thank you for the support. You and I were old blogging buddies and I appreciate that you came by to give some encouragement - keep on being awesome!
DeleteWell, Sharon shared the post on FB, and here I am Crista! I broke up with FB a long time ago...then why did you meet me there? Good question! I joined again so that I could use it for my blogs. I signed up using an email address that nobody knows, so they can't find me, and I put my name as Stace Werner instead of Stacey Werner so that I hopefully wouldn't show up in searches. My only friends on FB are now blogging buddies (no family no IRL friends).
ReplyDeleteI too had the same issue you had. I was on FB all of the time stalking people. I am embarrassed to say that I rarely posted on my wall but was on FB hours every day. I did the same thing you did and felt a weight lifted. So liberating not having to worry about what people were doing and saying. So glad I did it.
I'm glad to see things are well with you!
Hey, if you ever want to join Google+, we have a group over there if you are interested ;)
Stacey! (I mean Stace) ;) I'm so glad you swung by! I can understand why you might have chosen to use FB for your Blog still, I remember you did a lot of reviews, etc. and big companies often reqeuire it. It's nice to hear someone else's journey, too! I am/was a part of the Google+ group but I'm slowly phasing out of that, too, I suppose :)
DeleteI use it while I'm at work (shhh) but hardly ever do so while I'm at home so for me I'm not really sacrificing much in terms of family. I have quite a bit of down time at work so it helps fill that void sometimes. :-) Glad you could do it though!
ReplyDeleteJesica, your secret's safe with me! I can't say that would be very fulfilling work for me to go to and then be on FB, may I humbly suggest a possible occupational change? :D I hope to someday be able to do soemthing I LOVE SO MUCH that is doesn't ever feel like work, or make me want to revert to FB ;) Good luck with all you're doing! xo
DeleteI love you and am so proud of you!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mere, I love YOU and appreciate your support!
DeleteI feel like sometimes we could be long lost sisters, every post I read of yours we have very strong similarities in our mind set and goals, from raising babies, to growing gardens, to growing ourselves, you hit the nail right on the head with the same things I am going through in life, maybe its that earth-loving-3-baby-SAHM connection we share ;-). I kicked the FB habit for a strong 2 months and then got back on because I felt I had kicked the bad habit of being on it every free second I had, I found other things to do in those 2 months and I felt much more productive but I got sick of hearing from friends or family, "did you see it on facebook" so I caved and got it back but I have stayed strong and realized I don't NEED to be on it all day, I can live without it. No one missed me while I was gone for those 2 months so no one will miss my "like" on the 1000 photo of their kid. I post photos of the kids for distant family and friends but I don't do statuses, because like you said, just because someone isn't acknowledging your accomplishments doesn't mean they aren't happening. Your awesome and I wish we lived closer! Miss you! xo
ReplyDeleteMaggie, I feel like we are ong-lost-sisters, too! It's so interesting that when I met you, almost eight years ago, I wasn't sure what we had in common and now we have grown to be such kindered spirits. What a great gift! I'm so glad you found a social media balance that works for you + your family. I admire you for other reasons, too, like your strength to be outside of town (I would miss in-town life, I think!?) and raising an awesome family in a crunchy way! I can't wait to see you again, friend!
DeleteWow, giving up Facebook is impressive. I don't think I could do it without it being a challenge for sure. I work from home and also take care of my toddler. So I don't get to see a lot of my old work/city friends. I feel like Facebook lets me still feel connected to those people. Plus, I love seeing all of the photos of friends/family that live far away. But I agree, it can be a time suck and I do have to pay attention to how often I am on it.
ReplyDeleteCalie, I am a stay-at-home-mom of three toddlers (in case you didn't figure that out browsing the site) :) and I can relate to missing friends + family because of the home-boundedness that those things bring. In a way I work from home, too ;) I did feel connected like you say, but not in a fulfilling way. Now the few opportunities I do get to see old friends (and even family!) are quality conversations filled with information. I am really enjoying it so far :)
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