Monday, July 15, 2013

Kelly

I haven't been around in a really. long. time.
 
Oh, and I'm not sorry.
 
Number one because I haven't felt like blogging (the weather was beautiful, I fell more in love with my family, my computer chair is uncomfortable, blah blah)
 
And number two because something awful has happened in my life.
 
I was unprepared, just as everyone who finds themselves in my shoes probably is.
 
I hope you're never in my shoes.
 
On the morning of July 5th I woke up to a crying husband, cell phone ringing off the hook, and a press release from the local PD saying there had been a fatal hit-and-run with a 29-year-old cyclist in my town.
 
One of my best and most dear friends was struck by a vehicle while riding her bike home. She was dragged, left in an alleyway, and then later died.

Pauly, if you're reading this, I am sorry to be so blunt. Saying what happened has been a great help to me in coping with reality.
 
 photo 1045245_635317513447_1846601894_n.jpg
Hiking in California: Grover Hot Springs. Kelly was the only person to come visit me/us in our years of living in Reno, NV
Our community has proven, once again, to be amazing. Support has been raised for Kelly's husband Pauly, a beautiful memorial day was had, and a reward of over $50,000 is being offered to anyone with a tip leading to an arrest of the asshole who killed my friend.
 
Even though this isn't a good representation, they never let anything come between them :) Celebrating Niki Novak wedding day photo 1044009_635315462557_668111046_n.jpg
Pauly, me & Kelly, out to drinks- Kel's fave :) Isn't she beautiful?
Imagine someone so full of life that you occasionally want to slap them. Imagine a rainbow so bright you need heart-shaped sunglasses to view it. Imagine the most refreshing drink ever to quench your thirst. Kelly was all of those things, and more.
 
This is what I wrote the day I found out, July 5th, and posted to my Facebook page. For most of the day words were escaping...
 
What would Kelly Hurlbert do? I often used to ask myself this when she was a Boyce. Back when she was a co-worker who became a friend, who moved in as a roommate. She crossed the nation to visit in an unfamiliar place, invited me to stand next to her as she said "I do" to her beyond-words-amazing husband Pauly Hurlbert, and celebrated the day my baby girl was born by throwing one hell of a party (...would you expect any less?). Not a bad memory or thought exists of you, Kelly, because none were ever made. I would have done anything for you to return the selflessness you showed, but everyone knows you weren't one to ask for favors. Carefree and kind were your ways, and they will forever be remembered as I daily ask myself "What would Kelly do?" You improved my life, you improved all of our lives, and you will live on forever in our hearts. I love you.
 
Celebrating our marriage with us (me +  Bobby), Summer 2010 photo 1048607_635316829817_469972769_o.jpg
Josh, Brandy, Me, Bobby, Kelly & Pauly celebrating mine and Bob's marriage, 2010

Driving home tonight a biker pulled out in front of me. Actually three of them did. I slammed my brakes, it wasn't a close call. He looked at me in an amused and annoyed way as I sheepishly rolled by, hand in the air as if to say "waving my white flag, I give." But the moment I was out of sight I began to uncontrollably sob. For the scare. For my children dozing in the back seat. For my friend.
 
Who could be so awful and cold a person as to drag a living human body under their car for more than a block down the street and drive away, as if nothing had happened?
 
So unnerving is the thought of sharing a city with such a worthless soul.
 
So I am doing everything I can. To stay positive. To be strong. To contribute to the capture of her murderer. And to live as Kelly has inspired me to do. She loved, shared, worked, played, cared, and danced with no reservations. If I live to be 100 I can only hope to inspire a fraction of the lives she has touched.
 
I don't know when or if I'll ever resume the life I was living. I feel moved so strongly, only time can tell. For now I will do whatever it is that makes me happiest, because as my good friend Kelly always said "I don't judge, I say if you're happy and not hurting anyone then LET YOUR FREAK FLAG FLY!"
 
I love you Kelly, rest peacefully my friend.

You can visit Kelly's memorial website here.

Read about her beautiful memorial service here.

Read powerful words about it all here.

See Kelly and Pauly's enormous impact and support system here.



For now I will love, live and inspire as best I can. Every day I miss my friend, and every day I am so blessed to have known her, even if it was far too short a party. I love you, Kel.

 
 

 
 
 
 

4 comments:

  1. I am so sorry for your loss!!! Praying for you and all those directly affected by this tragedy!

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  2. I clicked on your blog via Top Mommy Blogs...a twin mom myself I wanted check out your site. I was very saddened by this post about your friend, and my heart goes out to you. So very sorry for your loss. May you find peace in your memories and in time with all those who hold your friend dear.

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  3. I found your blog a few months ago & thought maybe we shared a hometown, but now I know that we do. I hope that your memories of Kelly will carry you through this tough time, I know she had a profound impact on a lot of peoples lives (I met her once in passing and you could just see her zest for life). I hope you are healing and that your beautiful babies are helping in that. :)

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  4. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't begin to imagine your grief. I'm crying, and I never even knew her or met her. (Came by from Top Mommy Blogs)

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